What Facebook has Taught Me

 

I have had a Facebook page now for a few years and there are some things that I have learned.  I initially joined because I had grown tired of the junk on myspace and decided to try a new social network that didn’t have all of the garbage.  After joining I soon discovered that I could reconnect with old friends and distant relatives and I was hooked.  Not everything on Facebook has been pleasant and it has been a learning experience for sure.  Here are some things I have learned:

 

1.  I am getting old.

I have days that I feel my age, but generally I feel much younger than my actual age.  Facebook has helped me realize I am getting older, and it’s you guys that allowed me to see it.  You see since I don’t feel 45 and usually don’t act my age it wasn’t until I started seeing your pictures that I noticed how old I was looking.  I normally look in the mirror and see a young man, but some of you look…whew OLD!!  If we were friends when we were young and we are about the same age, I must be getting old.

I told my 11 year old son the other day; “When you’re young you live in the future.  Always day dreaming and imagining things, never really thinking about the present and having no real past.  When you are middle aged you live in the present.  Not wanting to think of the past and ignoring the future.  Life becomes about everyday survival and getting the family raised.  Then one day you wake up and realize you are old and all you want to do is dwell in the past.”

Some of ya’ll are living everyday in the past.  Now I didn’t think I was personally doing this until I saw ya’ll doing it, then I realized that maybe I have started doing it myself.

Thank you Facebook for this lesson.

 

2.  There were a lot of things I stressed over years ago that I should have just let them go.

When I was younger (preteen up to mid-twenties) I did and said some things that I immediately regretted and after losing contact with some of ya’ll spent hours wondering if I had offended or hurt you.

Then I discovered Facebook and I found ya’ll too.  That’s when upon closer observation those things that I thought had damaged you, in fact don’t really seem to have had an effect on ya’ll at all.  Now granted, most of ya’ll don’t seem to be normal, but I don’t see a connection to your issues and my comments or actions.  In fact, I might should have done and said more, this might have prevented ya’ll from doing some of the stupid things that messed your heads up.  The mental scars that ya’ll have accrued are so vast, there is no way I could have done this damage.  I often wonder how many of ya’ll are actually mental institution escapees?  Regardless, I still love ya’ll, I just worry about your lifestyle choices.  So…

Facebook has taught me not to sweat the small stuff.

 

3.  We all get fat and ugly.

When I started rediscovering ya’ll, I was worried that you would reject me ‘cause I was not the slim and attractive young man I used to be.  Then through the wonderful “Photo” section on ya’lls Facebook pages, I discovered the current you.  And well, let’s just be honest; ya’ll have let yourselves go.  Come on people we are only in our mid to late forties.  We aren’t old enough to start spending the rest of our lives trying to eat ourselves to death.  There are lots of workout programs on DVD for geriatrics available.  We all should agree to try and get back to our high school weight or better, just so we can quit laughing at each others photos thus possibly causing one of you hefties to have a heart attack.

Facebook has taught me that getting older doesn’t mean you have to give up.

 

4.  How in the world did ya’ll end up there?

I know some of you read my posts on Facebook and think I have gone bananas.  I am fine with that.  Why?  I read your posts too.  I wonder how many of you have come down with Mad Cow’s Disease?  I understand most of you think I am weird and not even close to the same guy you used to know.  But when I read some of your posts, I think aliens have slithered into your ears and now posses your brains. 

If nothing else, no matter how far in left field I go, some of ya’ll will always make me feel normal.

Facebook has taught me that brain erosion is no respecter of persons.

 

5.  Decisions are very important and think them through before settling on one.

I know we all make snap decisions sometimes and live to regret our choices.  But what were some of you thinking?  Let’s make some things very clear; tattoos are basically permanent,  marrying a lifelong convict seldom works out, if you don’t plan on changing your eating habits reconsider liposuction, sharing your most intimate moments on your “wall” cannot be undone. 

Ya’ll need to think harder before making decisions.  Therapists do need work and it is mighty noble of ya’’ll to continue to pile up sessions topics like Lindsey Lohan piling up drug busts; but at some point ya’ll need to consider my #1 point above.

Now having gotten these things off my chest and having aired out my laundry, let me say that I am thankful that the creator of Facebook was kind enough to create this outlet to teach me these life lessons.

In closing, I love ya’ll and will “like” your Facebook post forever, or until they take away my internet here in my padded room.