Friend till the end.

I am not a young man. I realize that at 45 (next week) I am definitely middle aged. I have no real problem with getting older and embrace the things that come with age. Every experience has been an opportunity to learn, unfortunately we seldom learn from our tests.

During my lifetime I have been blessed to have many friends/comrades/accomplices. My view on friends and what they mean has altered greatly in 45 years. As a child a friend was someone who would play with me. I didn't really judge anyone except by that measuring rod. So consequently, I started with lots of friends. But as I got older the barometer changed thus my friends became fewer. As a teenager a friend was an accomplice and a confidante. I would gauge them by their willingness to participate in my orneriness and how well they guarded my confidence. This caused the list to grow even more slim. As an adult the friend qualifications have been extremely confusing. Oft times those I viewed as friends proved they were not and this causes stress and frustration.

So how do you determine who is a friend? What qualifications make a person friend worthy? Let's look at the Owners Manual.

Beni (my son), if thou put up collateral for thy re'a (friend), if thou hast shaken hands in pledge with a zar (stranger), Thou art snared with the words of thy peh (mouth), thou art trapped with the words of thy peh (mouth). Do this now, beni (my son), and deliver thyself, since thou art come into the palm of thy re'a (friend); go, humble thyself, and plead with thy re'a (friend). Give not sheynah to thine eyes, nor slumber to thine eyelids.
(Proverbs 6:1-4)

Shlomo (Solomon) says don't even sleep until you make a matter, that has went wrong, right with your friend. So the relationship between friends seems to be very important according to this wise man.

The interesting thing here is the word that Scriptures use as "friend". Let's look at the ancient Hebrew lexicon:

H7453
Strongs #7453: AHLB#: 1453-A (N)

1453) Ayin Resh : Feed co: Shepherd ab: Desire: The pictograph resh is a picture of the head of a man, the ayin is a picture of they eye. Combined these mean "man watches". The shepherd closely watched over his flock, often they are his only companions.
Friend
Nm) Ayin Resh - Friend: A close companion. [df: eyr] [freq. 188] |kjv: neighbor, friend, another, fellow, companion, other, brother, husband, lover| {str: 7453}
Friend: A female companion. [freq. 3] |kjv: companion, fellows| {str: 7464}
Friend: A female companion. [freq. 6] |kjv: neighbor, another, mate| {str: 7468}

There is a lot to comprehend here, so I will take this a little slow. First the word used for friend in Hebrew is reyah. It is a feminine gender word. Why is the feminine gender used? Well the definition of the word clarifies the gender. The word is connected to the act of shepherding a flock. Watching over someone as a shepherd watches a flock. What did Cain say when YHWH confronted him about his brother Abel? "Am I my brother's keeper?" You see a friend or brother is in fact a "keeper" a shepherd, a close companion, watching over those they have befriended. Like a mother (feminine) watches over her baby chicks.


A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity.
(Proverbs 17:17)

The word friend here again is reyah and the word brother means someone connected to you. Friends watch over you, those who are connected to you who are not real friends are born for trouble. WOW!

A man of many friends must show himself to be friendly, But there is a Loving One Who sticks closer than a brother!
(Proverbs 18:24)

You cannot have lot of friends unless you also watch over and shepherd those you call friend. However, there is an ahab (Loving One) who sticks closer than a brother.

Now look at your "friends." Do they watch over you? Do they tell you when your foot has gone astray? Do they take the rod and staff and lead you to green pastures? This kind of makes us reconsider what or who a friend really is.

Now I have to reevaluate how I have treated those I say are my friends. Am I shepherding them? Do I tell them when they get off the Way? Do I lead them to green pastures? Or do I pacify and turn the blind eye? If I love you, I must be accountable for you. You may not always love the relationship, but you will always love the results.

I have only began to know who my friends are and start appreciating them for who they are, in light of this revelation.

To you TRUE friends, thank you.

Let's let the book of Sirach define this in closing:

A faithful friend is a strong defence: and he that hath found such an one hath found a treasure. Nothing doth countervail a faithful friend, and his excellency is invaluable. A faithful friend is the medicine of life; and they that fear YHWH shall find him. Whoso feareth YHWH shall direct his friendship aright: for as he is, so shall his neighbour be also.
(Sirach 6:14-17)